Mr. Besilly's Blog

The Fragile Bonds of Forever

When we wield the powerful sword of "I'm leaving you" the fragile bonds of forever are tested. Sometimes beyond repair. Those words cut, creating distrust, anger, and vulnerability. That's not fighting fair.

What happened to the sacred oath that included 'til death do us part? Commitment is sacrifice over convenience and true love's secret code.

"I wanted to see you walking away from me without the sensation of you leaving me alone."  Counting Crows song - Time And Time Again

Who On Earth Is Phil Tramdeck?

A photographer named Joey Kennedy immortalized Phillip Tramdeck in the striking portrait seen above describing Phil as; "A great man with unique vision". I have no clue who mister Tramdeck is. Joey's caption said that Phil loves his couch and fought hard to preserve it, which appears to be inspiration for the portrait. There's a whole lot of couch and very little Phil.

Only moments after Joey Kennedy posted this portrait on his Flickr photo site the entire world had the opportunity to become aware of Phil Tramdeck. A lifetime ago someone like Phil would have come and gone as a complete stranger to most of the planet.

I feel so fortunate to be alive in this extraordinary time that allows us to expand our own unique vision and extend our voice to places we could never have reached before. Today I know who Phil Tramdeck is and now you do too. Joey showed us that Phil really matters. So do you, even if we all don't know it yet. Thanks Joey.

Photo by Joey Kennedy

Free From Living The Good Life

There is no greater darkness than that which causes us to go numb, stop giving of ourselves and cease caring. There is no greater death than living with apathy, a choice that has rendered many of us dead already.

When we can give away more than we take and strip ourselves from the pursuit of wealth, we become alive with endless potential to make a difference. Filled with compassion we become free and fearless, no longer content with being reckless in our quest for living the good life. Are you willing to take that leap?

“He who gives when he is asked has waited too long.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca 

Photo by Zach Anderson

Children's Story of Marijuana Teaches "It's Just A Plant"

A new children's book authored by Ricardo Cortes teaches kids all about marijuana conveying that "It's Just a Plant". The book chronicles a child's path to learning about marijuana from a host of colorful characters including a group of street thugs, a farmer and an unfortunately timed cameo appearance by Bill "I never inhaled" Clinton as himself.

"It's Just A Plant" (a children's story of marijuana) could possibly be the modern hippie version of "Are You My Mother?" Cortes may be an undiscovered literary genius of a different kind destined for his rightful place atop Oprah's Book Club.

10 Life Lessons I Learned Playing Grown-Up

For me, growing up has been more difficult than I had ever anticipated. It appears that I may not be as far along as I had originally thought. Some of the first things to go when I started playing grown up was riding a bike, jumping on a trampoline and running down hills. I've realized that complaining more, forgiving less and focusing on making money over making friends are all worse things than having cooties.

I've chosen to start reversing those errors in the past two years, though I'll admit I have used our trampoline more for afternoon naps than I have for jumping. That makes me happy.

Create A Bridge And Get Over It

It's not unusual to feel shut down or even a bit frozen. Every creative giant has to battle those same feelings. You're not alone. The good news is that those feelings will pass. Being self-critical by judging your output before it's even had a proper chance to breathe will keep you frozen. Steer clear of that perfection trap, it's a dead end.

Here's the simple truth, creativity is a decision, it's the deliberate act of doing. Creativity is not a whim or a feeling. It does not come upon us but rather it comes from an untraceable place inside of us when we dare to take action.

Creativity is a senseless act, interpreting the known along with the unknown. The focus ought not to be placed on the outcome, it must be placed on the process of creating. Create at will but choose to judge not your own creations. Because each new work reveals a path to the next. Not one discovered without a bridge from the other. I'm confident you can do this.

"The chief enemy of creativity is 'good' sense."  Pablo Picasso

 Photo by Ulrich Mueller

The Message In A Bottle

Today I found your left over bottle of sparkling water on the floor of my 1979 VW convertible. This was the first beautiful day we've had in Seattle since I dropped you off at the airport last Saturday. After we said goodbye for the one hundred and tenth time, I wondered what happened to that bottle of Pellegrino as I drove home. I guessed that you had to surrender it at airport security. I had no clue that it remained with me all week, hiding in plain sight.

I sat on the dock by the lake at Enetai Beach today and I drank the remainder of your Pellegrino while taking in the sun. With every sip I reflected on the amazing time we shared together. My day was perfection. Thirty years later that sparkling water of yours triggered incredible memories for me. The message of our committed friendship after all these years flooded my mind like a familiar song.

That's exactly how a good friendship is, the smallest things we leave behind often mean the most. Some of the greatest gifts we give each other are never planned. I'm not someone who typically chooses sparkling water. Though I plan to drink it often until we have the chance to reconnect again.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

Photo by Ray Basile

Miley Cyrus Plays Pretend Pin-Up Girl

Why in the world would the beloved Disney teen idol Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) agree to do a photo shoot for Vanity Fair wearing a sheet? Even her TV show Dad would not have approved of Hannah Montana becoming a Disney Pin-up girl. Or would he? Who on earth thought that a partially nude Miley Cyrus was a good idea besides photographer Annie Leibovitz and the rest of the hangers on that enjoy watching the good die young?

"The magazine defended the pictures, saying the singer, her parents and her handlers approved of the images during the shoot." Of course they did! She's young, she needs the money. Source: AM NY

The Pure Joy of Double Dipping

Seth Godin recently asked his readers to share their copy of his book "The Dip" in a post entitled "Would you do me a favor?" At first I thought that Mr. Godin was a bit off his gourd with such an oddball request to loan my copy of The Dip to someone. But then something magical happened.

Love Dangerously

Don't allow the way people treat you to determine how you love, because those people will fade away quickly. How you love will endure forever. I encourage you to live passionately and by all means love dangerously.

Teens Reach For Attention As New Drug of Choice

Eight teens from Florida are facing possible life in prison for the alleged kidnapping and beating of a 16 year old classmate. According to a CNN report, their homemade reality TV episode was video taped with the intention of posting it on YouTube for millions of people to view. Six of the eight teenagers are girls who range in age from 14 to 18 who were seen on video doing the beating while the boys involved acted as lookouts. CNN

Love Is Letting Go

It wasn't until I knew I would never see you again that I kissed you like it was the last time. When I closed my eyes I wished for that moment to last forever.

For the first time I know what love is, it's letting go.

Keeping The Air In Your Balloon

Here's the thing, you're the only person who can choose to give up and let the air out of your own balloon. Allowing the opinions or the discouraging chatter of others should never dictate that decision. Most of us have projects, dreams and life visions that we have launched headlong into. It takes passion along with dedication to keep our visions and dreams in motion. It also takes equal parts encouragement to press on. Especially when things become a bit scary and we feel all alone in it. 

You're not the only one battling with personal discouragement. There's an entire bleacher full of people like you pushing forward in spite of feeling a bit deflated. It's part of the process. I'm not saying don't let go if you feel confirmation in your heart that it's time. What I am saying is don't let go for the wrong reasons. Feelings change, they will pass.

I'll Take My Life To Go Please!

When I order a latte at Starbucks it always includes a 'for here' mug. Most of the time the order taker knows what that means because it's a special order when you deviate from the signature white paper cup. I like to drink my coffee in a ceramic mug when I'm not taking it to-go, which is more often than not. It makes my daily coffee experience so much more enjoyable. It feels like home.

Did you know that in most espresso joints you can order your coffee in a ceramic mug? It's simple, all you need to do is ask. The paper cup is only necessary when your taking life on-the-go. Is taking your coffee to-go really necessary every single day? With the pace of daily living being so hurried and disconnected, I find that twenty minutes to linger with my cup-a-joe is practically therapy. It feels right to start my day stopping to reflect, breathing in the morning and taking time to view the wide angles.

Stop Waiting For It!

The best work you'll ever accomplish will be that which is produced by your passion. It's the work that no one could ever pay you enough to complete, because it's driven from your creative core. Our greatest freedoms come when we're not bound by the expectations of someone else or bound by our work for hire. How many times are you willing to go back to that same place where you let someone else define your value, hoping that this year's raise will finally be a true reflection of your worth? It will never happen, pull your head out.

Do Something Already!

You knew this day was coming. It's 2008, proof that another calendar year has passed and you're still stuck in first gear. It would be easy to come up with some broad generalization as to why you feel stuck and then apply a useless cliché on how you can fix your divine self. You're way past that already.

Allow me to interject a reasonable first step, do something and do it now. Doing something meaningful towards your goal will lead to another step. You are so ready to break out of that same ordinary bubble you've been floating around inside for the past year. Doing something, anything in a fresh direction will spark the inertia needed to create momentum.